Things my eyes (not yours) have witnessed but I will share with you, cause Im so generous etc etc bullshit.
- An old man wearing a giant red nose, gold sequined top hat and multi-coloured tail coat riding on one of those supa*bling lowrider bikes while pumping Black Lace's 'Agadoo' from a boom box.
He smiled and waved at me, so I smiled back. It must have been one of 'those' kinda smiles cause then he told me he doesn't dress like that everyday.
Like it matters, your dressed like that now, and if your dressed like that now, why not everyday?
I mean, come on! Your an old man dressed like a clown on a bike you obviously stole from your wannabe gangsta grandson and have awfuly kitsch taste in music to acompany the scene just incase our eyes arent entertained enough! You rule. Own. It.
-A public toilet, toilet paper dispenser company called 'Triple Willy'. This is funny for so many reasons...all of them immature and stupid.
- A man frontal stack whilst riding a Segue. I laughed, so hard.
-An exploded dead blind snake on the road with all its little baby blind snake babies squirming around next to it.
Alright, I lied about the squirming...they were all dead.
- A park that has one of those round rides I used to play on as a kid. You know the one, where you sit down and in the middle is like a circle-table type thing which you use to pull yourself around and around and around and around and the faster you pull the faster you spin and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Then you get really unbelievably dizzy and feel kinda sick and have to slide down the slippery dip a few times untill you can go back for round two's.
I can tell you from experience these rides are only about a quarter as much the fun as when you have other actual people to go on with.
Wednesday, 31 August 2011
Saturday, 27 August 2011
Righteous Heartbreak.
Boys. They confuse the heck out of me and whittle me away until I'm a Bridget bloody Jones cliche...uncool.
I never even have the faintest idea what they want from me, or why they say one thing but act like a complete donkey. And not even a cool donkey, you know like Donkey Kong (actually a gorilla, but whatever) but a 'eee orrrre, I'm a stupid ass' type of donkey.... Its true.
Not everyone gets to be Donkey Kong, and only a very select few get to be Diddy Kong even...so, you understand what I'm getting at.
I get the feeling though, mostly that when it comes to me, guys themselves dont know what they want. Which is really frustrating cause thats exactly what I feel. So they should be the ones who look into the future and realise what an awesome girlfriend I would be and just be my b/f already! Geeez its like, not that hard.
I had a bit of a thing with a boy. It hardly even constitutes as a 'thing' thats how short it was... lets call it, a 'flutter'. So I had my first flutter in Germany with a Deutsch-boy. Hes nice. But he doesn't want me to be his g/f. Everybody say 'awwww'.
So I, Le'Idiot was all like 'yeah I totally understand, lets be friends.' CRAP!
I. don't. want. to. be. friends. I want to be a sweet as sugar couple, that goes to markets together hand in hand and watches all the people and pretends not to be smug or feel superior, even though we do because we are in love. Then he will buy me a gingerbread decleration of love, cause, then I will KNOW its for reals.
But, it was not meant to be.
Drats! When will I find my superbly corny knight in shiny shiny armour?
I mean come on! I'm this ------> <------ close to just going round to every house and knocking down all the doors until a really really cute sexy, all black wearing, shaggy haired, bespectacled dude answers, and I'll be all like 'hi' and he'll say 'hey' and we will smile at each other and it will all be very much okay. Okay!
Yeeaaahhh good idea Theresa, you do that, first thing tomorrow. I'm absolutely certain this will not be a mistake or make me feel bad about myself or anything.
Pffft, yeah right you muppet.
Although maybe, JUST maybe... it will be alright?
I never even have the faintest idea what they want from me, or why they say one thing but act like a complete donkey. And not even a cool donkey, you know like Donkey Kong (actually a gorilla, but whatever) but a 'eee orrrre, I'm a stupid ass' type of donkey.... Its true.
Not everyone gets to be Donkey Kong, and only a very select few get to be Diddy Kong even...so, you understand what I'm getting at.
I get the feeling though, mostly that when it comes to me, guys themselves dont know what they want. Which is really frustrating cause thats exactly what I feel. So they should be the ones who look into the future and realise what an awesome girlfriend I would be and just be my b/f already! Geeez its like, not that hard.
I had a bit of a thing with a boy. It hardly even constitutes as a 'thing' thats how short it was... lets call it, a 'flutter'. So I had my first flutter in Germany with a Deutsch-boy. Hes nice. But he doesn't want me to be his g/f. Everybody say 'awwww'.
So I, Le'Idiot was all like 'yeah I totally understand, lets be friends.' CRAP!
I. don't. want. to. be. friends. I want to be a sweet as sugar couple, that goes to markets together hand in hand and watches all the people and pretends not to be smug or feel superior, even though we do because we are in love. Then he will buy me a gingerbread decleration of love, cause, then I will KNOW its for reals.
But, it was not meant to be.
Drats! When will I find my superbly corny knight in shiny shiny armour?
I mean come on! I'm this ------> <------ close to just going round to every house and knocking down all the doors until a really really cute sexy, all black wearing, shaggy haired, bespectacled dude answers, and I'll be all like 'hi' and he'll say 'hey' and we will smile at each other and it will all be very much okay. Okay!
Yeeaaahhh good idea Theresa, you do that, first thing tomorrow. I'm absolutely certain this will not be a mistake or make me feel bad about myself or anything.
Pffft, yeah right you muppet.
Although maybe, JUST maybe... it will be alright?
Sunday, 14 August 2011
Oh, The Things You Learn
Getting a flat tyre is exactly the same wherever you are. A man will always come along and just do it for you without even asking if your actually capable of doing it all by yourself, which I am actually....I just haven't had the chance to prove it yet because EVERYTIME a man comes along and bloody does it for me! GOSH! Do I look like a damsel in distress? If I wanted a guy to fix my tyres I'd like get married or hire a personal handy-man/dude. Which we all know I'm not going to do, because I CAN FIX MY OWN FLAT TYRES!!!
If I need a jar opened or something I'll be in contact, thankyou.
You think you dont miss your home country and then your mum sends you Tim Tams.
I didn't ever eat them all that often but I ended up eating practically a whole packet in one go, I thought yeah! everythings fine, except of coarse the over eating of delicious Australian chocolatey goodness.
But then, then I started to get sad. Hey! I thought chocolate released endorphins....Endorphins make you happy. What gives Tim and Tam? Bastards.
I don't really blame you Arnotts, I just had a very un-chill week.
Seeing your last name on a grave stone is weird. And is kinda like a reality hit that yeah, one day I will be dead too. I feel sorry for Mr and Mrs Smith, what a sorrowful life they must live, being constantly reminded of this. Although, I do suppose that all rather depends on how often they frequent graveyards.
Apologies to Mr and Mrs Smith, I did not mean to imply that you were graveyard lurkers. You just have a common name, cause for misery enough.
On closer inspection, people really are the same and when I say people I mean boys. Yeah okay, I haven't seen a hot skater punk anywhere (why?), but dress code aside there is no difference.
The only off switch for my overthinking is alcohol. An abundance of it. Unfortunate, cause if I were to get too hard into that again, in the future there wouldn't be any need for the alcohol. My brain would just be 'off'.
I'm still an advocate for retail therapy. Note to self, must find other cheaper form of sad/bordom buster.
Music will always be synonymous with moments.
Sunday, 24 July 2011
In The Middle Of A Rainy Summer.
Its raining a lot. Which sucks. Cause I have have not been able to go out for excercise times. I'm obtaining a decent, what I like to call, German Belly. Its my stomach except slightly rounder and I do believe its the result of eating too many breadrolls. Stupid bread, why does it have to be so convinient and delicious?
This morning I looked out the window and watched the rain, it looks so different today and I, retard, got WAY WAY WAY ahead of myself and thought OH MY GOD IT'S SNOWING! IT'S FREAKING SNOWING PEOPLE!!!!!
But then I thought about the temperature and the fact that I'm still running around barefoot and asked my aunty rather reservedly 'What kind of rain is that?' (Though still in my head thinking, please be snow please be snow please be snow). It isnt. It's just a shitty different kind of rain.
Well, I think it's time you pissed off now rain. I have had enough of you and would like it to be summer again. THANKYOU!
I had more to say but its time to eat....again. To be continued....probably.
This morning I looked out the window and watched the rain, it looks so different today and I, retard, got WAY WAY WAY ahead of myself and thought OH MY GOD IT'S SNOWING! IT'S FREAKING SNOWING PEOPLE!!!!!
But then I thought about the temperature and the fact that I'm still running around barefoot and asked my aunty rather reservedly 'What kind of rain is that?' (Though still in my head thinking, please be snow please be snow please be snow). It isnt. It's just a shitty different kind of rain.
Well, I think it's time you pissed off now rain. I have had enough of you and would like it to be summer again. THANKYOU!
I had more to say but its time to eat....again. To be continued....probably.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Differences.
Pretty sure my blog yesterday can only have one critique........abismal.
It is not my fault.
Alright I know, it is my fault. But like ah, shut up.
So I have been in Germany just about two months now and I do believe it is time to reflect and share with you what I have learned and discovered.
Anybody feel like we are back at school retreat yet??? Dont worry I'm not going to talk about weird candle-passing forgiveness ceremonies or letters I've written to people I don't like, how I'm sure they are actually a really really nice person, probably.
Ummm, I'll paaaasss.
So even though I'm living in a place similar to back home, though a bit smaller, I find it so much more interesting here. Not only because of the way it looks and feels but because of its history, and how I fit into it. I'm not totally sure that I DO fit into it, but it definitely has significance to me. My parents grew up here, and I'm constantly meeting new people who know them or were in their aquainted circle, and its just, cool. I always think to myself, if my parents hadn't moved to Australia then I would already know you, and, if my parents hadn't moved to Australia I probably would have already done this etc etc. And I'm getting to learn who and how my family is..In a way I'm catching up.
German flora and fauna is so different. I see a wider variety of wild animals running around here, hares, rabbits, squirrels, birds, deer, fox and other weird ferret type furry animals. And there are wild flowers everywhere! I go for a daily walk and I see so many different and pretty colours. And yesterday before I rode my bike back from the lake from reading in the sun, I totally stuck my head in a cherry tree and had myself an afternoon snack. Yeah ok, you couldn't call it a snack exactly, seeing as most of the ripe uneaten ones where much higher than my reaching abilities (even when standing on a rock) and I'm pretty sure I also ate a worm, but how many times do you get the oportunity to eat wild cherries at the lake?
The german people's mentality is strange but also quite unique. At first I thought they were just unfriendly and blunt. But actually I misunderstood and I'm pretty sure I'm not that different.
Australians will ask you how you are as a form of greeting but arent actually all that interested in a truthful response, they will also ask you how your weekends are or your holidays and ask you heaps of questions, really actually quite nosey, and all just to seem polite and interested, even if they aren't. I think, the german people either find it too personal to ask such questions or they just aren't interested in a strangers life and therefor don't ask. Thats not rude, its just another way of being polite. Although, yes I have come across some STONEY people. But mostly just nice ones.
Its possible to be nice and interested without being nosey and fake, and I don't think majority of Australians get that (ones in the service industry anyway) but then again, it is what is required as part of the job there. I dunno. Whatever. Its just different.
I could totally go on rambling about crap that probably doesn't even matter or make a difference. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like it here.
I can't get too comfortable though, because once I'm comfortable I start getting lazy, and then I stop trying to improve myself and/or life situation. And the whole point of my travel expedition was to figure it all out and become a grown up. That in itself will prove difficult as I dont believe in growing up either..... Geez at odds with myself again, no surprise there.
It is not my fault.
Alright I know, it is my fault. But like ah, shut up.
So I have been in Germany just about two months now and I do believe it is time to reflect and share with you what I have learned and discovered.
Anybody feel like we are back at school retreat yet??? Dont worry I'm not going to talk about weird candle-passing forgiveness ceremonies or letters I've written to people I don't like, how I'm sure they are actually a really really nice person, probably.
Ummm, I'll paaaasss.
So even though I'm living in a place similar to back home, though a bit smaller, I find it so much more interesting here. Not only because of the way it looks and feels but because of its history, and how I fit into it. I'm not totally sure that I DO fit into it, but it definitely has significance to me. My parents grew up here, and I'm constantly meeting new people who know them or were in their aquainted circle, and its just, cool. I always think to myself, if my parents hadn't moved to Australia then I would already know you, and, if my parents hadn't moved to Australia I probably would have already done this etc etc. And I'm getting to learn who and how my family is..In a way I'm catching up.
German flora and fauna is so different. I see a wider variety of wild animals running around here, hares, rabbits, squirrels, birds, deer, fox and other weird ferret type furry animals. And there are wild flowers everywhere! I go for a daily walk and I see so many different and pretty colours. And yesterday before I rode my bike back from the lake from reading in the sun, I totally stuck my head in a cherry tree and had myself an afternoon snack. Yeah ok, you couldn't call it a snack exactly, seeing as most of the ripe uneaten ones where much higher than my reaching abilities (even when standing on a rock) and I'm pretty sure I also ate a worm, but how many times do you get the oportunity to eat wild cherries at the lake?
The german people's mentality is strange but also quite unique. At first I thought they were just unfriendly and blunt. But actually I misunderstood and I'm pretty sure I'm not that different.
Australians will ask you how you are as a form of greeting but arent actually all that interested in a truthful response, they will also ask you how your weekends are or your holidays and ask you heaps of questions, really actually quite nosey, and all just to seem polite and interested, even if they aren't. I think, the german people either find it too personal to ask such questions or they just aren't interested in a strangers life and therefor don't ask. Thats not rude, its just another way of being polite. Although, yes I have come across some STONEY people. But mostly just nice ones.
Its possible to be nice and interested without being nosey and fake, and I don't think majority of Australians get that (ones in the service industry anyway) but then again, it is what is required as part of the job there. I dunno. Whatever. Its just different.
I could totally go on rambling about crap that probably doesn't even matter or make a difference. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like it here.
I can't get too comfortable though, because once I'm comfortable I start getting lazy, and then I stop trying to improve myself and/or life situation. And the whole point of my travel expedition was to figure it all out and become a grown up. That in itself will prove difficult as I dont believe in growing up either..... Geez at odds with myself again, no surprise there.
Monday, 18 July 2011
Ach Mann.
Letzte woche solte ich in Deutsch ein blog schreiben...habe ich nicht gemacht. Ja offensichtlich.
Eigentlich kann ich nicht so gute schreiben, und das ist gans anstreng. Aber ich fersuche es und habe auch Google Translate neiben ann.
Jedoch wissen wie faul ich bin, und ich sag euch yetz ich habe kiene lust alle worte zu nachprüfen. Wann das alles eine bisschen kacke ist dann ist das einfach so, ok?
Da ist nicht mehr zu sagen auf das thema.
Jetz muss ich schnell irgendwas anders vinden das ich gerne vergnügen kann.
Nah, und nunn fult es wei ich mein kopf gegen das want geknalt habe.
Es ist vorbie. Abe erst eine parr worte das ich gerner zu hören moch.
-Schatzi
-Liebling
-Locker
-Pfannkuchen, aber nur auf das grund das sie yetz hinter meir gekoched werden.
Ja, werklich, ich erschauder wann ich denk uber wie vieler fielern ich gemacht habe.
Tschüs!!
Friday, 8 July 2011
I Blame The Jägers
My first two days at the clinic were, how d'you say.... shit.
Yeah, first day there was a lot of making beds and generally not understanding a thing. Which is to be expected yeah. However still, after the first day I was thinking I am God, I can pretty much do anything....
Monday night was yet ANOTHER jäger type gathering in Blunk. Lots of jägers gathered together from different dorfs and we all wandered around through the wild around swamps and stuff. When we returned there was beer and meat.
Beer.
I don't know what it is, but for some reason people like to buy me beer. However since I am God and I didnt have to be back at the clinic till 1pm the next day, I did not deny myself the pleasure of enjoying this beer buying ritual....and later on, shots.
Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. Cheers Lil Jon, "lets get ready to get fucked up" (?).....yeah think I beat you to that.
Wont say I didnt have fun, because it was SUCH an awesome night. And even though I was hanging with a bunch of mostly older men jägers and a couple of older jäger-mens women, I would say that the company was excellent and the conversation was just as swell. Pretty sure I talked a lot, though I don't know how or what about cause my german sucks. I also managed to wear a jäger hat the whole night (almost accidently stolen), it was far too big and I probably looked like a dork but I don't give a crap yo! :D
Sooo, Monday night was a laugh. Tuesday however, was not. I would say shortly before I passed out Monday night/Tuesday morning I managed to purchase a ticket, Destination: HELL.
Tuesday was by far a day not worth reliving. I still had hope at around 11am that I would make a swift recovery and be all fine n'dandy to go to the clinic. No. When I got to the clinic I thought my head was going to fall right off my shoulders, and two hours in I thought I was going to start crying, cause I felt so sorry for myself. But, you know, I was at work experience, I figured I had to pull myself together and 'Just Do It'. I'm pretty sure I have gone to work many times badly hungover, even got my mother to drive me to work the next day cause I was pretty sure I was still intoxicated...and it seemed to be fine! How come then, how come that day, I had to run out of a patients room and unceremoniously rid myself of my entire bodily fluids!!!!????????
Yeah Theresa. Not cool. Not a very good way to make a good impression. YOU ENTIRELY STUPID PERSON.
After that.... little episode, I was sent home. I was well upset cause I wanted to stay and learn, but on the other hand I was still seeing green. So I brought myself a bunch of grapes and went to home to bed.
Well, I dont think its safe exactly to say I've learnt my lesson cause I'm a notorious repeat offender........ but, I think I've learnt my lesson.
I think I was lucky cause they didnt know that I was hungover they just thought I couldnt handle it there. Although they are nurses, surely they would be savvy to that kind of thing?....Whatever, if they do know they didnt say anything and the last two day have been really excellent!
I'll be keeping you updated, though next week in German. Laters, T
Yeah, first day there was a lot of making beds and generally not understanding a thing. Which is to be expected yeah. However still, after the first day I was thinking I am God, I can pretty much do anything....
Monday night was yet ANOTHER jäger type gathering in Blunk. Lots of jägers gathered together from different dorfs and we all wandered around through the wild around swamps and stuff. When we returned there was beer and meat.
Beer.
I don't know what it is, but for some reason people like to buy me beer. However since I am God and I didnt have to be back at the clinic till 1pm the next day, I did not deny myself the pleasure of enjoying this beer buying ritual....and later on, shots.
Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. Cheers Lil Jon, "lets get ready to get fucked up" (?).....yeah think I beat you to that.
Wont say I didnt have fun, because it was SUCH an awesome night. And even though I was hanging with a bunch of mostly older men jägers and a couple of older jäger-mens women, I would say that the company was excellent and the conversation was just as swell. Pretty sure I talked a lot, though I don't know how or what about cause my german sucks. I also managed to wear a jäger hat the whole night (almost accidently stolen), it was far too big and I probably looked like a dork but I don't give a crap yo! :D
Sooo, Monday night was a laugh. Tuesday however, was not. I would say shortly before I passed out Monday night/Tuesday morning I managed to purchase a ticket, Destination: HELL.
Tuesday was by far a day not worth reliving. I still had hope at around 11am that I would make a swift recovery and be all fine n'dandy to go to the clinic. No. When I got to the clinic I thought my head was going to fall right off my shoulders, and two hours in I thought I was going to start crying, cause I felt so sorry for myself. But, you know, I was at work experience, I figured I had to pull myself together and 'Just Do It'. I'm pretty sure I have gone to work many times badly hungover, even got my mother to drive me to work the next day cause I was pretty sure I was still intoxicated...and it seemed to be fine! How come then, how come that day, I had to run out of a patients room and unceremoniously rid myself of my entire bodily fluids!!!!????????
Yeah Theresa. Not cool. Not a very good way to make a good impression. YOU ENTIRELY STUPID PERSON.
After that.... little episode, I was sent home. I was well upset cause I wanted to stay and learn, but on the other hand I was still seeing green. So I brought myself a bunch of grapes and went to home to bed.
Well, I dont think its safe exactly to say I've learnt my lesson cause I'm a notorious repeat offender........ but, I think I've learnt my lesson.
I think I was lucky cause they didnt know that I was hungover they just thought I couldnt handle it there. Although they are nurses, surely they would be savvy to that kind of thing?....Whatever, if they do know they didnt say anything and the last two day have been really excellent!
I'll be keeping you updated, though next week in German. Laters, T
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Saumagen
In an attempt to improve my german skills I've decided I'm going to give up my english for a week. This means a whole week no speaking the ol' aussie speaky. Thinking, only in german. Reading only in german (which is a shame cause I'm totally into Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy at the moment, like I'm right in there....). And the biggest blow, only typing and writing in german, this is more suck than the others cause my main contact with Australia is through friendface and emails, and my german writing skills are soo incredibly bad. I wrote a german email to my grandmother the other day and asked my younger cousin to proof read it and help me out, he only ended up having time to help with one paragraph, but he laughed out loud like a gazillion times.
However I figure if I'm going to be here for a while and if I want to make friends with people etc than my german just has to get better, its so frustrating having to talk so slow and not being able to simply say what it is that I want to say or mean. Especially when words is all you have!! I'm not a baby, I cant start squeeling or crying if I want to be fed or go to the toilet or whatever. I have to use my big girl words.
I was actually planning on starting this tomorrow, seeing as its a Monday, and Monday's are always a good place to start these kind of things.....especially since I only came up with the idea today, but thinking about it now, and the people it would mean to cut off. Maybe, I figure its a better idea to start this next week as to give my peeps a bit of a heads up! And a chance to say all the things that need to be said before I become a mute. I dont know what exactly will be so important to say, but if my friend told me they would be out of contact for a week suddenly out of the blue like this I'm pretty sure I'd be having a heavy heart. SO. DON'T. STRESS! I'll give ya a call.
In other news I just came back from being invited round to dinner in Blunk. Tonight on the menu was a traditional german speciality (from down south anyway) Saumagen which translates to sow's stomach. Essentially it's something similar to haggis, as in the principle is the same-stuffing stomachs. However saumagen uses pig's meat, vegetables (potato) and spices etc, is then stuffed into the stomach and can be either boiled or then sliced and fried or baked. We ate it baked and with two kinds of sauerkaut the normal kind and another kind though I'm not sure how to explain that one.
Anyway it didn't even look unappetising and tasted something rather like delicious. Even though I'm not a fussy eater and pretty much eat anything (except aaaawful disgusting blueberries) I'm still unsure if I would give Haggis a go. Its seems so.... what is the right word?
Blergh! I think pretty much sums it up. Anyway who knows if I will even ever have to look a serve of haggis in the eyes?
Bed time, I start my praktikum tomorrow morning! EXCITING!!!!
Love T.
However I figure if I'm going to be here for a while and if I want to make friends with people etc than my german just has to get better, its so frustrating having to talk so slow and not being able to simply say what it is that I want to say or mean. Especially when words is all you have!! I'm not a baby, I cant start squeeling or crying if I want to be fed or go to the toilet or whatever. I have to use my big girl words.
I was actually planning on starting this tomorrow, seeing as its a Monday, and Monday's are always a good place to start these kind of things.....especially since I only came up with the idea today, but thinking about it now, and the people it would mean to cut off. Maybe, I figure its a better idea to start this next week as to give my peeps a bit of a heads up! And a chance to say all the things that need to be said before I become a mute. I dont know what exactly will be so important to say, but if my friend told me they would be out of contact for a week suddenly out of the blue like this I'm pretty sure I'd be having a heavy heart. SO. DON'T. STRESS! I'll give ya a call.
In other news I just came back from being invited round to dinner in Blunk. Tonight on the menu was a traditional german speciality (from down south anyway) Saumagen which translates to sow's stomach. Essentially it's something similar to haggis, as in the principle is the same-stuffing stomachs. However saumagen uses pig's meat, vegetables (potato) and spices etc, is then stuffed into the stomach and can be either boiled or then sliced and fried or baked. We ate it baked and with two kinds of sauerkaut the normal kind and another kind though I'm not sure how to explain that one.
Anyway it didn't even look unappetising and tasted something rather like delicious. Even though I'm not a fussy eater and pretty much eat anything (except aaaawful disgusting blueberries) I'm still unsure if I would give Haggis a go. Its seems so.... what is the right word?
Blergh! I think pretty much sums it up. Anyway who knows if I will even ever have to look a serve of haggis in the eyes?
Bed time, I start my praktikum tomorrow morning! EXCITING!!!!
Love T.
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
So, You Come Here Often?
Weirdest experience yesterday.
The weather has been really good the last couple days, so yesterday I rode a bike down to the Blunker See. Which I suppose is the local lake...?
I park my bike, take of my clothes, walk past sunbaking elderly lady, past sunbaking man (was also there the day before) and dive into the water. Splash and frolick around like you do, though I didnt stray too far from the bank cause I'm a scaredy cat and the water is deeep!
After I got out, my intentions were to get dry then head back home. But the guy from the day before started talking to me and was then like 'grab your stuff and talk to me'. So I thought hell why not, I mean I'm never going to find The One if I dont even talk to boys right?
He was wearing glasses, was tall, had a fit tanned figure, and an extreemely large penis. He was covered and all, but I mean how much do speedo's REALLY cover your privates? So far he seemed to fit The One description my best friends aunty had predicted in my card reading.
So I sat down next to him, on the grass, he wanted me to lie down on his rug (...Um NO!) and he offered me a piece of fruit, I dont know what its called but its a peach and it looks all squashed and its really sweet and delicious, but again I was like no thanks.
And he started talking, like, a lot. I didnt really understand all of what he said because he spoke so fast. But I learned he was born in Russia, he doesn't work, which is why he was at the lake at 2pm on a tuesday afternoon, if he did work he would be doing something to do with computers. He lives on his own. He wants to get to know me, because its interesting to him that I'm from Australia, etc etc.
He asked me questions but I didnt really talk at all, and when there was a pause he would like get out his sunscreen and be like 'do you need some? It is not good for your skin (touched my arm) out in the sun' and I'm thinking hey you weirdo dont touch me and said 'no thanks I dont need any sunscreen, I'm not staying long'. Then he started jabbering again, and asked me to talk about myself, and I just shrugged and he laughed and then touched me on the knee.
Like, that was it for me. I had sat there long enough not to seem rude to leave. So I said 'Oh gee, look at the time (I didnt even have a watch on) I really have to go, I told my aunty I would help her make a Richtkrone (traditional thing you make for people who have newly built roofs, meant for good luck, which is also true, I did say I would help her make one)'. Then he asked me if I had an email he could contact me on, but thankfully he didnt have a writing implement (hoorah!) I was like 'oh what a shame, goodbye!' he quickly picked me a flower, gave it to me, then watched me get dressed and leave.
What a pervert! And to think, at the start of the incedent I thought he might have been The One! I mean it all seemed to fit the description, tall, dark, intellegent, forign, glasses, near water. I should have known as soon as he opened his mouth though, I mean that was scary. Not so much the words that came out of it, but the just the size of it, and his teeth, my gosh!! Like I dont think The One should be having such a big Godzilla mouth like his.
I would always be living in total complete fear. I could'nt ever argue with the Pervert-Godzilla-Mouth man, my head would be gone in a second, or less!
Why do I always attract the crazies? And how many more am I suppose to deal with before I actually do meet Mr One?
The weather has been really good the last couple days, so yesterday I rode a bike down to the Blunker See. Which I suppose is the local lake...?
I park my bike, take of my clothes, walk past sunbaking elderly lady, past sunbaking man (was also there the day before) and dive into the water. Splash and frolick around like you do, though I didnt stray too far from the bank cause I'm a scaredy cat and the water is deeep!
After I got out, my intentions were to get dry then head back home. But the guy from the day before started talking to me and was then like 'grab your stuff and talk to me'. So I thought hell why not, I mean I'm never going to find The One if I dont even talk to boys right?
He was wearing glasses, was tall, had a fit tanned figure, and an extreemely large penis. He was covered and all, but I mean how much do speedo's REALLY cover your privates? So far he seemed to fit The One description my best friends aunty had predicted in my card reading.
So I sat down next to him, on the grass, he wanted me to lie down on his rug (...Um NO!) and he offered me a piece of fruit, I dont know what its called but its a peach and it looks all squashed and its really sweet and delicious, but again I was like no thanks.
And he started talking, like, a lot. I didnt really understand all of what he said because he spoke so fast. But I learned he was born in Russia, he doesn't work, which is why he was at the lake at 2pm on a tuesday afternoon, if he did work he would be doing something to do with computers. He lives on his own. He wants to get to know me, because its interesting to him that I'm from Australia, etc etc.
He asked me questions but I didnt really talk at all, and when there was a pause he would like get out his sunscreen and be like 'do you need some? It is not good for your skin (touched my arm) out in the sun' and I'm thinking hey you weirdo dont touch me and said 'no thanks I dont need any sunscreen, I'm not staying long'. Then he started jabbering again, and asked me to talk about myself, and I just shrugged and he laughed and then touched me on the knee.
Like, that was it for me. I had sat there long enough not to seem rude to leave. So I said 'Oh gee, look at the time (I didnt even have a watch on) I really have to go, I told my aunty I would help her make a Richtkrone (traditional thing you make for people who have newly built roofs, meant for good luck, which is also true, I did say I would help her make one)'. Then he asked me if I had an email he could contact me on, but thankfully he didnt have a writing implement (hoorah!) I was like 'oh what a shame, goodbye!' he quickly picked me a flower, gave it to me, then watched me get dressed and leave.
What a pervert! And to think, at the start of the incedent I thought he might have been The One! I mean it all seemed to fit the description, tall, dark, intellegent, forign, glasses, near water. I should have known as soon as he opened his mouth though, I mean that was scary. Not so much the words that came out of it, but the just the size of it, and his teeth, my gosh!! Like I dont think The One should be having such a big Godzilla mouth like his.
I would always be living in total complete fear. I could'nt ever argue with the Pervert-Godzilla-Mouth man, my head would be gone in a second, or less!
Why do I always attract the crazies? And how many more am I suppose to deal with before I actually do meet Mr One?
Sunday, 26 June 2011
My Body Is My Body, I'm Not Just Anybody.
I'm a thief.
There you have it.
An outlaw on the run, with no way of undoing what it is I have done.
I like don't even feel bad, like totally whatever even.
I mean, its not like I'll be going to prison or anything, probably because there is 95% possibility that nobody but me (and you) knows about it at all.
What was my crime?
I stole a magazine.
Your shocked aren't you, I can tell.
Before you start re-evaluating how well you know me and thinking shit like, its SO unlike me and Germany has changed me blah blah. I admit. I didn't even realise I was such a bad ass until way after the dreadful deed was done.
You see, I wanted to purchase two magazines, I put one on top of the other on the counter and the dude looked at the price of the top magazine, looked at me then DEMANDED I pay €1 EXACTLY. So I did what the nice (stupid) man wanted.
Am I to blame if he didn't realise there was another €6 magazine underneath? I think not.
So essentially I paid one euro for two magazines, though not really, really I stole a magazine.
Oh yeah, now everybody wants to be my friend because I am such a rebel. And everybody likes a rebel.
However before I could really soak up all the gloriousness of my most angst-riddled-teenager moment, I got a taste of my own medicine.
I'm a pretty predictable person. And on this particular day I was feeling a bit sad and bored. So for something to do I drove to the coast, only when I got there it didnt make me feel better at all. It was meant to be a distraction from home, but it was exactly like home, okay, nothing will ever come close to matching those beaches, but it was a smallish coastal town with plentiful old people, young family's and loved up couples with nothing better to do than to stroll around on the prominade and eat and drink. BOOOOOOO! I ran away from that to see/experience something different!
So I walked around in a huff until my legs took me into that newsagent where I acquired my magazines. Which is what I always do when feeling lost and out of control, I usually then also grab a chocolate milkshake, but that day I decided I'd enjoy a nice beer with my stolen goods.
I drank my beer, looked at the pretty pictures and enjoyed the scenery, when suddenly another bloody loved up couple comes up to my table and asked if they could sit there.
For bloody hell, I was just getting relaxed and chill with some 'me' time and they had to come along and ruin it. I was so annoyed, and kinda a little tipsy, that I got up (after paying of coarse) and went in search of cigarettes. All the shops were closed by then and I'd just given up on the thought, when I walked right into a cigarette vending machine. I thought €5 a pop, if I smoke one and give the rest away or whatever then it wont be such a big loss. So I put a fiver in, pushed appropriate buttons AND NOTHING CAME OUT!
Karma you BITCH.
Yeah okay, I suppose I deserved that, and thanks 'n all for saving me from doing something stupid, but seriously, I think next time I will decide if I want to partake in a little destructive behaviour. "It's my body, I do what I want!"
There you have it.
An outlaw on the run, with no way of undoing what it is I have done.
I like don't even feel bad, like totally whatever even.
I mean, its not like I'll be going to prison or anything, probably because there is 95% possibility that nobody but me (and you) knows about it at all.
What was my crime?
I stole a magazine.
Your shocked aren't you, I can tell.
Before you start re-evaluating how well you know me and thinking shit like, its SO unlike me and Germany has changed me blah blah. I admit. I didn't even realise I was such a bad ass until way after the dreadful deed was done.
You see, I wanted to purchase two magazines, I put one on top of the other on the counter and the dude looked at the price of the top magazine, looked at me then DEMANDED I pay €1 EXACTLY. So I did what the nice (stupid) man wanted.
Am I to blame if he didn't realise there was another €6 magazine underneath? I think not.
So essentially I paid one euro for two magazines, though not really, really I stole a magazine.
Oh yeah, now everybody wants to be my friend because I am such a rebel. And everybody likes a rebel.
However before I could really soak up all the gloriousness of my most angst-riddled-teenager moment, I got a taste of my own medicine.
I'm a pretty predictable person. And on this particular day I was feeling a bit sad and bored. So for something to do I drove to the coast, only when I got there it didnt make me feel better at all. It was meant to be a distraction from home, but it was exactly like home, okay, nothing will ever come close to matching those beaches, but it was a smallish coastal town with plentiful old people, young family's and loved up couples with nothing better to do than to stroll around on the prominade and eat and drink. BOOOOOOO! I ran away from that to see/experience something different!
So I walked around in a huff until my legs took me into that newsagent where I acquired my magazines. Which is what I always do when feeling lost and out of control, I usually then also grab a chocolate milkshake, but that day I decided I'd enjoy a nice beer with my stolen goods.
I drank my beer, looked at the pretty pictures and enjoyed the scenery, when suddenly another bloody loved up couple comes up to my table and asked if they could sit there.
For bloody hell, I was just getting relaxed and chill with some 'me' time and they had to come along and ruin it. I was so annoyed, and kinda a little tipsy, that I got up (after paying of coarse) and went in search of cigarettes. All the shops were closed by then and I'd just given up on the thought, when I walked right into a cigarette vending machine. I thought €5 a pop, if I smoke one and give the rest away or whatever then it wont be such a big loss. So I put a fiver in, pushed appropriate buttons AND NOTHING CAME OUT!
Karma you BITCH.
Yeah okay, I suppose I deserved that, and thanks 'n all for saving me from doing something stupid, but seriously, I think next time I will decide if I want to partake in a little destructive behaviour. "It's my body, I do what I want!"
Thursday, 23 June 2011
So I Cant Grow A Moustache. At Least I Have Options.
For a while there I was thinking I wouldnt find any work, I'd spend all my money irresponsibly (food and alcohol, you know) and be back home before I could say "Cheerio Miss Sophie". But now, now I have three options.
Option 1: Telephone operator at an open air theatre. Was my first choice and first interview, which I thought was the worst I'd ever been involved with. It was horrific, and whats worse is that my cousin was in the room as well witnessing all the horridiousness. EMBARRASSING! Anyway I have a few days to decide if I want to go with them even.
Option 2: Packing freezers at the local supermarket 'Famila'. This isn't so bad and deffers not the worst job I've had, but its so god damned cold. It's like walking through an ice cube. What? You have never done that before??
Thats because its not supposed to be done, on the account of the freeziness.
The only thing that tops my hatred of this cold, is the uniform. All I can say is that I'm oh so very happy that my grandmother is not here to take photographic evidence of the disgustoid that somebody has the nerve to call a uniform. Although I would consider myself lucky. I dont work in the stinky (oh what a stank) cheese section and have to wear a gross hat aswell.
There also happens to be a cute manager dude that works here. Mission: To find out relationship status, age and first name.
Here everyone is called Frau/Herr (insert last name here). Its weird being called Frau Knees. Couldnt they call me Frau Von Trapp? That would be cool.
Option 3: To do four weeks work experience as a nurse, which, if all goes well and I like it, can lead into a traineeship/apprentice (not sure how they differ and which is the German equivalent). But if I'm thinking long term plans for my future, I'd be pretty stupid not to give this a really 100 percentage go, right?
Hopefully if it can all work out I can keep the shitty supermarket €400 a month job which is a heck of a lot of NO money and do the work experience, which isnt paid even slightly at all!
In other news, I still have no friends. Boo! But hopefully my spiffy uniform and excellent freezer packing skillz should win some people over and maketh a group worthy of euro style party which I am yet to enjoy.
My fingernails have 'smokers syndrome'. BEFORE you have heart palpitations mum...I have NOT become a full blown cigarrette permanently attached to one hand at ALL times kinda girl. I meerely made the stupid mistake of buying el'cheapo bright yellow nail polish, and 80 cent nail polish remover. The result? That shit aint come off. I mean I got the majority, after half an hour of intense scrubbing. But now? Now my nails have a gross yellow tint. And I thought "Oh well, who will even notice?" But I notice peoples eyes wondering over to my nails, and I KNOW they are thinking "That, is, rank, what the hell is the matter with this girl?" So I painted them a different more normal colour and threw little yellow right out the window, where it deserves to be crushed, melted into nothingness and DIE!!! Much like the songs of Ke$ha. Or just Ke$ha herself. Who would even miss her? Seriously.
Over the weekend I went to my uncles hunting groups 'Green Party' where they invite all the land holders round to drink beer and grill wild meats that they have hunted. This was delicious. I also ended up coming second place in a dice rolling game and won a certificate for the meat off the back of a deer. Apparently this is a good piece of meat. So I told them to shoot a big one for me.
I appear to be going through some kind of lucky phase, where things just seem to be happening for me. I hope this doesnt end. At least not just yet. I'm having such a good time.
Option 1: Telephone operator at an open air theatre. Was my first choice and first interview, which I thought was the worst I'd ever been involved with. It was horrific, and whats worse is that my cousin was in the room as well witnessing all the horridiousness. EMBARRASSING! Anyway I have a few days to decide if I want to go with them even.
Option 2: Packing freezers at the local supermarket 'Famila'. This isn't so bad and deffers not the worst job I've had, but its so god damned cold. It's like walking through an ice cube. What? You have never done that before??
Thats because its not supposed to be done, on the account of the freeziness.
The only thing that tops my hatred of this cold, is the uniform. All I can say is that I'm oh so very happy that my grandmother is not here to take photographic evidence of the disgustoid that somebody has the nerve to call a uniform. Although I would consider myself lucky. I dont work in the stinky (oh what a stank) cheese section and have to wear a gross hat aswell.
There also happens to be a cute manager dude that works here. Mission: To find out relationship status, age and first name.
Here everyone is called Frau/Herr (insert last name here). Its weird being called Frau Knees. Couldnt they call me Frau Von Trapp? That would be cool.
Option 3: To do four weeks work experience as a nurse, which, if all goes well and I like it, can lead into a traineeship/apprentice (not sure how they differ and which is the German equivalent). But if I'm thinking long term plans for my future, I'd be pretty stupid not to give this a really 100 percentage go, right?
Hopefully if it can all work out I can keep the shitty supermarket €400 a month job which is a heck of a lot of NO money and do the work experience, which isnt paid even slightly at all!
In other news, I still have no friends. Boo! But hopefully my spiffy uniform and excellent freezer packing skillz should win some people over and maketh a group worthy of euro style party which I am yet to enjoy.
My fingernails have 'smokers syndrome'. BEFORE you have heart palpitations mum...I have NOT become a full blown cigarrette permanently attached to one hand at ALL times kinda girl. I meerely made the stupid mistake of buying el'cheapo bright yellow nail polish, and 80 cent nail polish remover. The result? That shit aint come off. I mean I got the majority, after half an hour of intense scrubbing. But now? Now my nails have a gross yellow tint. And I thought "Oh well, who will even notice?" But I notice peoples eyes wondering over to my nails, and I KNOW they are thinking "That, is, rank, what the hell is the matter with this girl?" So I painted them a different more normal colour and threw little yellow right out the window, where it deserves to be crushed, melted into nothingness and DIE!!! Much like the songs of Ke$ha. Or just Ke$ha herself. Who would even miss her? Seriously.
Over the weekend I went to my uncles hunting groups 'Green Party' where they invite all the land holders round to drink beer and grill wild meats that they have hunted. This was delicious. I also ended up coming second place in a dice rolling game and won a certificate for the meat off the back of a deer. Apparently this is a good piece of meat. So I told them to shoot a big one for me.
I appear to be going through some kind of lucky phase, where things just seem to be happening for me. I hope this doesnt end. At least not just yet. I'm having such a good time.
Monday, 13 June 2011
For Mum.
Mum rang me yesterday, and practically the first thing she said was "Write more blogs!".
Yeah I know I'm pretty lazy with the whole up date thing, whatever.
I was like "pft, yeah whatever mum, nobody even reads them, blah". Then, like a true stick-to-your-daughter mother would, she says all proud like "Did you know you have had like a hundred and something something pageviews??" and I was all like "that totally doesn't even count and I only have ONE follower". Very quickly mums like "No Theresa, you have TWO!!".
WHAAAT?
Now I admit, I was pretty excited, TWO whole followers!!!? That means TWO people like to admit that they read what I write!!!
So I asked mum, "Oh my god, who is it?"
"I dunno, some guy".
... Some guy, some guy. Right. Okay. Note to self 'check out this some guy laters on'.
So we finish our telephone call and I spend the day on the German coast.
When I get home I log on with anticipation, oh yes I am very much having a loser moment...Will completely die if I don't know who Mystery Man is.
Who is this guy??
........Bruce Willis.
MUH-UM!!! How can you NOT even recognise a picture of Bruce Willis??? Have your eyes fallen out of your head?? Sheesh!
So I clicked on Bruce Willis' pic to find out more, could The Bruce Willis really like my blog??
Yeaaaaaah. No.
It only took me about like 40 seconds to realise I was being most absolutely ridiculous and no, of coarse it is not the actual Bruce Willis but just a picture of him, and I'm pretty sure it is one of my close friends who is responsible for ALL these identity lies, they are all lies.. Though I'm sure she will just come up with some lame-o excuse like 'blame it on the Internet'. Its always the Internets fault isn't it.
Maybe I should pretend to be Michael Jackson...you know like speaking from the other side or something, wooooooooooh, spookay.
Lets see how you like it when you find out its just a white girl pretending to be a black man pretending to be a white girl.
Teheheh yeooow, ah, Billy Jean is not my lover....
Yeah I know I'm pretty lazy with the whole up date thing, whatever.
I was like "pft, yeah whatever mum, nobody even reads them, blah". Then, like a true stick-to-your-daughter mother would, she says all proud like "Did you know you have had like a hundred and something something pageviews??" and I was all like "that totally doesn't even count and I only have ONE follower". Very quickly mums like "No Theresa, you have TWO!!".
WHAAAT?
Now I admit, I was pretty excited, TWO whole followers!!!? That means TWO people like to admit that they read what I write!!!
So I asked mum, "Oh my god, who is it?"
"I dunno, some guy".
... Some guy, some guy. Right. Okay. Note to self 'check out this some guy laters on'.
So we finish our telephone call and I spend the day on the German coast.
When I get home I log on with anticipation, oh yes I am very much having a loser moment...Will completely die if I don't know who Mystery Man is.
Who is this guy??
........Bruce Willis.
MUH-UM!!! How can you NOT even recognise a picture of Bruce Willis??? Have your eyes fallen out of your head?? Sheesh!
So I clicked on Bruce Willis' pic to find out more, could The Bruce Willis really like my blog??
Yeaaaaaah. No.
It only took me about like 40 seconds to realise I was being most absolutely ridiculous and no, of coarse it is not the actual Bruce Willis but just a picture of him, and I'm pretty sure it is one of my close friends who is responsible for ALL these identity lies, they are all lies.. Though I'm sure she will just come up with some lame-o excuse like 'blame it on the Internet'. Its always the Internets fault isn't it.
Maybe I should pretend to be Michael Jackson...you know like speaking from the other side or something, wooooooooooh, spookay.
Lets see how you like it when you find out its just a white girl pretending to be a black man pretending to be a white girl.
Teheheh yeooow, ah, Billy Jean is not my lover....
Sunday, 5 June 2011
Late Night FryPodding.
A few things to catch up on;
1. I totally rule at the shooting, I partook in a shooting competition and came in 4th place, not too shabby for a Theresa.
2. I now own an intensly girly bright metalic lime green Honda logo, yeah, too darn cool. I think I will call it Hoppy.
3. If you don't know how to express yourself in another language, don't attempt a visit to the hairdresser. "I want a fringe, how's the best way to achieve that?
She had either no clue or was just PURE EVIL! She decided to cut a few strands under my existing fringe really really short... So that if I wanted a fringe that day, I could pin the rest back....am I retarded or something?
Excuse me!!! Randomly cutting bits of hair on someones forhead does not a fringe make! No kudos for you.
4. Just because your not in Australia anymore does not mean you can abandon sun damage precautions. My poor sunburnt scalp, please oh please just don't peel. I'm already enough of an alien.
5. Last night we went to the Poyenburg Open Air Irish Folk Music Festival... I don't like Irish folk music, but I like free things and being taken out, this outing was especially good....for my stomach. There was a food stall for heaps of different countries. And I swear I have never eaten so much good food at a festival before. And Kilkenny, yep I like that too.
6. iPods rule! I'm totally addicted and am even posting this on my free iPod, I like to call it FryPod cause it fries my brains cause it's tiny and uses all my looking power. Unfortunate.
1. I totally rule at the shooting, I partook in a shooting competition and came in 4th place, not too shabby for a Theresa.
2. I now own an intensly girly bright metalic lime green Honda logo, yeah, too darn cool. I think I will call it Hoppy.
3. If you don't know how to express yourself in another language, don't attempt a visit to the hairdresser. "I want a fringe, how's the best way to achieve that?
She had either no clue or was just PURE EVIL! She decided to cut a few strands under my existing fringe really really short... So that if I wanted a fringe that day, I could pin the rest back....am I retarded or something?
Excuse me!!! Randomly cutting bits of hair on someones forhead does not a fringe make! No kudos for you.
4. Just because your not in Australia anymore does not mean you can abandon sun damage precautions. My poor sunburnt scalp, please oh please just don't peel. I'm already enough of an alien.
5. Last night we went to the Poyenburg Open Air Irish Folk Music Festival... I don't like Irish folk music, but I like free things and being taken out, this outing was especially good....for my stomach. There was a food stall for heaps of different countries. And I swear I have never eaten so much good food at a festival before. And Kilkenny, yep I like that too.
6. iPods rule! I'm totally addicted and am even posting this on my free iPod, I like to call it FryPod cause it fries my brains cause it's tiny and uses all my looking power. Unfortunate.
Saturday, 28 May 2011
4 Days Down... With a Bullet.
Ok, so, like, I'm here. In Germany.
This is my fourth full day here.
My first impressions?? Yeah, well, I know its a different country and all, and everybody speaks a different language, but for some reason I dont feel strange or uncomfortable like I thought I would. It feels almost natural. Like as if I moved to a different state in Australia. Except, I don't speak the language heaps good.
The first couple days at the breakfast table I was asked about whats 'happening' in Australia...news wise.
Umm, what?
I. Don't. Watch. News.
I. Don't. Read. Newspapers.
This is what I know thats current in Australia:
U.S.A is 'winning' because they bumped off Osama Bin Laden.
Yeah. Exactly.
Everybody knows that. If you dont know this, that rock you have been living under slipped and hit you on the head and killed you off also. Although, you, Dead Soul, if you are now in hell, I suppose you too are aware of this news. How is ye ol' Mr Bin Laden? Nice chap??
Also, if I mention Julia Gilard and grumble something incohernt, then, that pretty much sums up Australian news.
What? Me? Ignorent? Pft.
On Wednesday I went along with my cousin and her friends to tennis 'training'. Their idea of training is pretty much exactly what sports day tennis was like at school. A lot of standing around talking and eating lollies. But it was fun, they even thought I was only like 19 years old. RESULT!
I've also been driving with my uncle. Me, driving, on the right hand side and in a manual again. Its been a while since I drove manual, but it really is like riding a bike...you don't forget. I only grabbed to the left for the gear box once. Tried to drive on the left side again twice. And activated the windscreen wipers instead of the indicator only about a thousand times. Whatevs, I'll get there.
Its totally not as warm as I thought it was going to be, apparently last month it was very warm, it seems I brought the weather with me. This here spring is like there autumn/winter. And I only brought one pair of jeans with me. Crap.
Today, I went with one of my aunt and uncles family friends to the local markets. We walked around a bit, and then sat outside at a place called Einsteins where we drank a glass of merlot and ate some pita bread with spicy quark. Will I explain what quark is? No.
Did that glass of red effect me? Oh yes.
One of his tennis buddies/friends met us there. He was cool. Crazy, but cool. He wore flat driving shoes, trackpants a la Mc Hammer, a bright red Nike Jumper, a long pony tail tucked into a multi coloured checkered scarf and a well worn floppy panama hat.
When we finished our spread, we sat inside and ordered three espresso macchiato, they also ordered mineral water and asked if I would also like one. I said 'ja bitte'. I mean hello! yes! of coarse I wanted one, its only 12:30pm and I'm already half drunk.
However, when the waitress came over with our drinks three mineral waters did I not see. Three tiny glasses filled with grappa. Unfair! I tried it, obviously, but man that stuff is strong, I dared not finish it. Just incase the idea got into my head that I should start dancing on the table or, you know, at least, do something embarrassing like drunk Theresa tends to do.
I was then dropped back home and the computer was free. So here I am.
Now I'm waiting for 3 o'clock cause my uncle and all his hunting friends are coming over and having some sort of shooting competition. This should be interesting!
This is my fourth full day here.
My first impressions?? Yeah, well, I know its a different country and all, and everybody speaks a different language, but for some reason I dont feel strange or uncomfortable like I thought I would. It feels almost natural. Like as if I moved to a different state in Australia. Except, I don't speak the language heaps good.
The first couple days at the breakfast table I was asked about whats 'happening' in Australia...news wise.
Umm, what?
I. Don't. Watch. News.
I. Don't. Read. Newspapers.
This is what I know thats current in Australia:
U.S.A is 'winning' because they bumped off Osama Bin Laden.
Yeah. Exactly.
Everybody knows that. If you dont know this, that rock you have been living under slipped and hit you on the head and killed you off also. Although, you, Dead Soul, if you are now in hell, I suppose you too are aware of this news. How is ye ol' Mr Bin Laden? Nice chap??
Also, if I mention Julia Gilard and grumble something incohernt, then, that pretty much sums up Australian news.
What? Me? Ignorent? Pft.
On Wednesday I went along with my cousin and her friends to tennis 'training'. Their idea of training is pretty much exactly what sports day tennis was like at school. A lot of standing around talking and eating lollies. But it was fun, they even thought I was only like 19 years old. RESULT!
I've also been driving with my uncle. Me, driving, on the right hand side and in a manual again. Its been a while since I drove manual, but it really is like riding a bike...you don't forget. I only grabbed to the left for the gear box once. Tried to drive on the left side again twice. And activated the windscreen wipers instead of the indicator only about a thousand times. Whatevs, I'll get there.
Its totally not as warm as I thought it was going to be, apparently last month it was very warm, it seems I brought the weather with me. This here spring is like there autumn/winter. And I only brought one pair of jeans with me. Crap.
Today, I went with one of my aunt and uncles family friends to the local markets. We walked around a bit, and then sat outside at a place called Einsteins where we drank a glass of merlot and ate some pita bread with spicy quark. Will I explain what quark is? No.
Did that glass of red effect me? Oh yes.
One of his tennis buddies/friends met us there. He was cool. Crazy, but cool. He wore flat driving shoes, trackpants a la Mc Hammer, a bright red Nike Jumper, a long pony tail tucked into a multi coloured checkered scarf and a well worn floppy panama hat.
When we finished our spread, we sat inside and ordered three espresso macchiato, they also ordered mineral water and asked if I would also like one. I said 'ja bitte'. I mean hello! yes! of coarse I wanted one, its only 12:30pm and I'm already half drunk.
However, when the waitress came over with our drinks three mineral waters did I not see. Three tiny glasses filled with grappa. Unfair! I tried it, obviously, but man that stuff is strong, I dared not finish it. Just incase the idea got into my head that I should start dancing on the table or, you know, at least, do something embarrassing like drunk Theresa tends to do.
I was then dropped back home and the computer was free. So here I am.
Now I'm waiting for 3 o'clock cause my uncle and all his hunting friends are coming over and having some sort of shooting competition. This should be interesting!
Thursday, 19 May 2011
Who Stole The Cookie From The Cookie Jar?
Its Friday, which means only two whole days left. TWO DAYS!! Where did all the time go? I think he ran off with the spoon or something. Damn Time, running away from me.
I keep having bouts of anxiety then followed by euphoria. Its really annoying. Stupid emotions, thanks a lot for going all crazy like and leaving me to ineffectively defend my crazy new persona. Whats next, a thousand purple cats?
Well anyway, I thought I would share with you what my eyes are going to be missing every morning.
This is the view from my home. I'll miss sitting out there in the warm sun, on the trampoline or the verandah, watching the ants do what ants do (creeping along in lines for no reasonable explanation, as far as I can tell anyway). Good times.
So I'll be off now, there are still things I have to do which I promised myself I would already have done by now so I wouldn't stress. Apparently though, this kind of stress does something amazing to your skin so that it tightens and/or heals itself quicker!!! Or some vain shallow bullshiz like that which I happened to gobble up like the last biscuit in the biscuit tin and then immediately forget all the details. I suppose stress doesn't do anything for the brain and remembrance of details. Gay.
I keep having bouts of anxiety then followed by euphoria. Its really annoying. Stupid emotions, thanks a lot for going all crazy like and leaving me to ineffectively defend my crazy new persona. Whats next, a thousand purple cats?
Well anyway, I thought I would share with you what my eyes are going to be missing every morning.
This is the view from my home. I'll miss sitting out there in the warm sun, on the trampoline or the verandah, watching the ants do what ants do (creeping along in lines for no reasonable explanation, as far as I can tell anyway). Good times.
So I'll be off now, there are still things I have to do which I promised myself I would already have done by now so I wouldn't stress. Apparently though, this kind of stress does something amazing to your skin so that it tightens and/or heals itself quicker!!! Or some vain shallow bullshiz like that which I happened to gobble up like the last biscuit in the biscuit tin and then immediately forget all the details. I suppose stress doesn't do anything for the brain and remembrance of details. Gay.
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Is It Sex O'clock Already?
Sweet Jesus!
Its Wednesday already and all I'm doing is sitting here fart arsing around with my new i pod. Essentially...doing nothing! Well actually, there is a load of washing in the machine.
Unproductive morning? I think not.
I know that there is probably 1000 more useful things I could be doing, like packing, but, fuck it. I don't want to, procrastinating is much more appealing to me.
Besides I'm really trying very hard to get into the right head space for this sex toy party I am attending tonight, because my friend is hosting it and I said I would go.
I would be lying if I said I had never been to one before, because I have, although I'm pretty sure I only went to that for the food. And it wasn't even very good food. Milk chocolate shaped like little penis'? How terribly gaudy.
On the plus side, I'm sure this friend has much better taste than that.... Dark chocolate shaped like little penis'.
I joke I joke. I cant honestly say I ever want to stick little penis' in my mouth, no matter what they are made of.
I'm sure it will all be fun and the real reason I'm going anyway is to hang with my friends. So while all......that, is going on I can just sit myself into a corner, shovel all the food into my pig face, laugh at all the ridiculous 'toys' and try to bring a sense of class to it all by adding really funny wittisms where appropriate by, you know, like, farting.
Laters!
Monday, 16 May 2011
I Have Pictures!
Long time no speaky!
Whatevs, it was fun. I had my cards read and it is all good news baby! I'm even supposed to meet 'The One'. And who doesn't want to meet him right? or at least hope that he is out there somewhere, where are you?
It was a really lovely old lady trip where we drank a lot (A LOT) of tea, had dinner at the very early 5pm time slot...because we needed the extra time to chew our food before Master Chef started??????
We also visited the opportunity shops. All three of them. Two of which the locals weren't even aware they had!
See how this dingy opp shop corner looks cool and nostalgic? That's because I used the 'pin hole' filter on my new camera.
We also woke up early and walked up to some national park look out. The highlight were the swings, which we all took a turn on. Your not seeing those pictures.
This dial thingy shows you how some towns are actually opposite to each other but you would never have thought it because of the way the country is set out. Yeah, I'm not good at explaining that kinda stuff, but I doubt your all that interested anyway, and if you are, figure it out yourself! GOSH!
In other news I finally got my i pod that I won at work only like forever ago! It couldn't have come any later. Any later and I would be on the plane listening to only half my song list on my shitty old Nano. Though I should not insult you, little Nano. You did me proud and even continued to function when I put you through the washing machine. I am forever grateful. But i pod touch!!! Come on! Flip off Nano!
There is exactly one week left. This is getting serious.
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Spontanious Road Trip Baby!
Tomorrow I have to get up early again....gross. It wouldnt be so bad if it wasnt so cold but alas, it is. Its totally going to be worth it though. Me and my bestie are taking one last road trip together for who knows how long, to the totally happening town of...Inverell. WOOP WOOP! I have never been there and I don't know anything about it, besides that it is inland and probably about 50 billion colds! But whatever, 5 hours in the car with my friend, who could say no to that? And we are visiting her aunty who is way interesting and awesome and may even do a tarot card reading for me, that is if I have the guts to ask her.
Also I get to use my new camera outside for the first time and experiment around with landscape pictures and stuff! Yahuh!! Cause at the moment all I have taken is indoor photos and mostly just of myself, so it looks like I’m really really into myself, or like some 16 year old girl with self esteem issues looking for yaya’s on Facebook.
Anyway I have to scoot off cause it is 11.30 already and if I dont go to sleep now I’m going to be way cranky tomorrow and not funface like I should be! Night J
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Free Balling and French Toast.
Today was the best by far!
I got up early (k, this wasn't exactly great, but,) got dressed, drove my butt into town, narrowly avoided a collision with an old man in a shitty little beep beep car, "Don't give me death stares. I didn't see you and your tiny car in the rain OKAY!!!" Then went and had a lovely breakfast with two girlfriends. I had french toast with maple syrup and bacon, only a thousand delicious points, and it would have been a perfect breakfast if only I had my usual chocolate milkshake, but it was cold, so cold, so I went with chai. Blame the weather dear taste buds, twas not my fault.
Friends and food. Only the most winningest of winning combinations!
Then I went and paid off the rest of my camera with some sweet moola!
Heck yes, I am now the owner of a Lumix DMC-FZ40. I don't know a lot about camera's but I'm pretty sure this model is just right for what I want to do, which doesn't include myspace photos or making porno's. Now I just have to learn how to use this magnificent machine. It has many buttons. And soon this page will be filled with pretty pictures of Europe! Or unusual food I eat in a restaurant nobody really gives two flying fire trucks about.
I spent the afternoon bumming at my friends place enjoying the time we have left together, and then making it uncomfortable with a few tears because it just happened to hit me how much I will miss everyone (no tear ducts ey? yeah right). I mean seriously, not only will I miss the actual people but I will miss whats going on in their lives too. Yeah I know we will keep in touch via phone, facebook and snail mail etc, but its not the same as when your actual eye balls are involved is it!
Despite my obvious fear, I am glad I made the decision to do this. Sometimes I just remember what a giant risk I'm taking. Its like I've jumped off the edge of a cliff and I have absolutely no idea when or where I'm going to land and its just a little hard to be free falling and comfortable at the same time.
Whatever, I'll find my feet.
.
I got up early (k, this wasn't exactly great, but,) got dressed, drove my butt into town, narrowly avoided a collision with an old man in a shitty little beep beep car, "Don't give me death stares. I didn't see you and your tiny car in the rain OKAY!!!" Then went and had a lovely breakfast with two girlfriends. I had french toast with maple syrup and bacon, only a thousand delicious points, and it would have been a perfect breakfast if only I had my usual chocolate milkshake, but it was cold, so cold, so I went with chai. Blame the weather dear taste buds, twas not my fault.
Friends and food. Only the most winningest of winning combinations!
Then I went and paid off the rest of my camera with some sweet moola!
Heck yes, I am now the owner of a Lumix DMC-FZ40. I don't know a lot about camera's but I'm pretty sure this model is just right for what I want to do, which doesn't include myspace photos or making porno's. Now I just have to learn how to use this magnificent machine. It has many buttons. And soon this page will be filled with pretty pictures of Europe! Or unusual food I eat in a restaurant nobody really gives two flying fire trucks about.
I spent the afternoon bumming at my friends place enjoying the time we have left together, and then making it uncomfortable with a few tears because it just happened to hit me how much I will miss everyone (no tear ducts ey? yeah right). I mean seriously, not only will I miss the actual people but I will miss whats going on in their lives too. Yeah I know we will keep in touch via phone, facebook and snail mail etc, but its not the same as when your actual eye balls are involved is it!
Despite my obvious fear, I am glad I made the decision to do this. Sometimes I just remember what a giant risk I'm taking. Its like I've jumped off the edge of a cliff and I have absolutely no idea when or where I'm going to land and its just a little hard to be free falling and comfortable at the same time.
Whatever, I'll find my feet.
.
Monday, 9 May 2011
EEK, TWO WEEKS!
So I didnt get a chance to make another post since Thursday and a few things have happened.
I had my last day at work and it was such a laugh all day long.
People seemed to care that I was leaving, at lease a little bit and customers were fun to interact with, probably because they were feeding off my awesomely hyped up vibes. That might have had something to do with all the coffee I had, but whatever.
And while we are on the topic of coffee something a little eery occurred, I was at lunch and I decided to make myself a cup of instant with the rooster mug I always use because it is my mug on the account that I brought it when I worked there last time. And every time I used to want to use my mug it was always always in the dirty dishes pile! Meaning somebody used MY MUG and didn't clean it up after. ANNOYING!!!!
As I was saying I was making myself a cup of coffee with my rooster mug on my last day, when all of a sudden it slipped right out of my hand and onto the floor breaking into pieces oblivion.
Now I'm not into any of that superstitious dribble, but was that a sign or what!? I think it waaas!! A sign that I will never return to work there, even though people keep telling me I should consider it etc. Not gonna happen peeps, the rooster mug has spoken!
After work on Friday I road tripped down to Canberra to visit a good friend one more time before I go country hopping. I stopped over to visit my brother and to break up the long trip. We went out for a few drinks with his room mates (all guys) which was actually a lot of fun, mostly because I repeatedly shut this one guy down who could drop it like its hot but practically start crying every time he got it given back.
I even randomly ran into a guy I met at university. I'm going overseas in two weeks and he has a girlfriend. You may say the score is even. You are wrong. I became healthier and hotter while he just looks wider and gross and is moving to Tamworth to be with his girlfriend... And I could tell he was still totally into me. He asked me if I still had his number (which I don't) and seemed miffed when I told him so. RESULT! I win I win I win.....not that its a competition or anything.
Canberra was so much fun and me and my friend ran around like idiots just having a laugh and taking pictures of all of it. We went out in the city and I broke my drinking ban. I was a little hesitant about doing it because I had come so far (over 10 months) and it seemed like such a shame. But I don't regret it because I have achieved what I set out to do, which was to learn how to have a great time with confidence and without alcohol. In the end the drinking seemed a little pointless because I only had like five drinks and didn't feel too effected. But I had a great night, and even have a rando funny casino story to tell!
The next day we went to the dinosaur museum where the highlight was deffers the 3D dinosaur puzzle. Families totally hated on us, but I don't care.
The trip home today only took like forever! but its okay cause tomorrow I have many things planned!
I had my last day at work and it was such a laugh all day long.
People seemed to care that I was leaving, at lease a little bit and customers were fun to interact with, probably because they were feeding off my awesomely hyped up vibes. That might have had something to do with all the coffee I had, but whatever.
And while we are on the topic of coffee something a little eery occurred, I was at lunch and I decided to make myself a cup of instant with the rooster mug I always use because it is my mug on the account that I brought it when I worked there last time. And every time I used to want to use my mug it was always always in the dirty dishes pile! Meaning somebody used MY MUG and didn't clean it up after. ANNOYING!!!!
As I was saying I was making myself a cup of coffee with my rooster mug on my last day, when all of a sudden it slipped right out of my hand and onto the floor breaking into pieces oblivion.
Now I'm not into any of that superstitious dribble, but was that a sign or what!? I think it waaas!! A sign that I will never return to work there, even though people keep telling me I should consider it etc. Not gonna happen peeps, the rooster mug has spoken!
After work on Friday I road tripped down to Canberra to visit a good friend one more time before I go country hopping. I stopped over to visit my brother and to break up the long trip. We went out for a few drinks with his room mates (all guys) which was actually a lot of fun, mostly because I repeatedly shut this one guy down who could drop it like its hot but practically start crying every time he got it given back.
I even randomly ran into a guy I met at university. I'm going overseas in two weeks and he has a girlfriend. You may say the score is even. You are wrong. I became healthier and hotter while he just looks wider and gross and is moving to Tamworth to be with his girlfriend... And I could tell he was still totally into me. He asked me if I still had his number (which I don't) and seemed miffed when I told him so. RESULT! I win I win I win.....not that its a competition or anything.
Canberra was so much fun and me and my friend ran around like idiots just having a laugh and taking pictures of all of it. We went out in the city and I broke my drinking ban. I was a little hesitant about doing it because I had come so far (over 10 months) and it seemed like such a shame. But I don't regret it because I have achieved what I set out to do, which was to learn how to have a great time with confidence and without alcohol. In the end the drinking seemed a little pointless because I only had like five drinks and didn't feel too effected. But I had a great night, and even have a rando funny casino story to tell!
The next day we went to the dinosaur museum where the highlight was deffers the 3D dinosaur puzzle. Families totally hated on us, but I don't care.
The trip home today only took like forever! but its okay cause tomorrow I have many things planned!
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Kayano Socks and Prance Crapping (p.j)
Things I like about leaving my work in two days:
- I'm leaving.
- I'm leaving.
- I'm leaving.
- ONE MORE TIME! I'm leaving.
Don't think I'm ungrateful or anything cause I'm so glad they gave me a job in the first place. Even though it meant occasionally seeing people from the old Theresa days and having to explain that all I'm doing these days is working in retail, while they all you know like, do shit.
There are things I'm going to miss.
This is such an obvious answer, but I will miss the people, people as in workmates, NOT the general public. 'The people' in general, suck. Do you realise even how many freaks there are walking among us? Scary.
Will I ever find a workplace again where all I have to do is bat my eyelashes and smile every time I didn't feel like doing a certain task??
Well I'm sure I could. But using my sexuality to get out of doing boring things only works on certain people, ie guys, ones that aren't homo.
Buy buy discount (see what I did here?).
Utter crap balls, where am I supposed to buy my sporting gear from now?? Over the last couple days I have been running all over the shop looking for things that I 'might need' so that I can buy it on my staff discount, before its too late. I know this is stupid because I have no money for such purchases and I'm quite sure what I already have will suffice. But, I like pretty new things.
The work is easy. Boring as all hell but easy. Could have done it with my eyes closed. Sometimes did, cause I was still asleep, cause there was no point in waking up for such an easy job!
And yeah, k, I kinda admit, sometimes it was really fun/funny. Making people think I was talking to myself, when my co worker was out of view just doesn't get old.
Trying to come up with discreet code names for when a really really hot guy enters the shop, is not fun actually, but mostly just of utter importance, "Hey, have you seen the new Kayano socks?" Then there was sayings like, "I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of a low flying duck" I would never have heard otherwise. It may be crass and you may think I was better off never having heard it, but I believe my life to be truly enriched. Thanks.
- I'm leaving.
- I'm leaving.
- I'm leaving.
- ONE MORE TIME! I'm leaving.
Don't think I'm ungrateful or anything cause I'm so glad they gave me a job in the first place. Even though it meant occasionally seeing people from the old Theresa days and having to explain that all I'm doing these days is working in retail, while they all you know like, do shit.
There are things I'm going to miss.
This is such an obvious answer, but I will miss the people, people as in workmates, NOT the general public. 'The people' in general, suck. Do you realise even how many freaks there are walking among us? Scary.
Will I ever find a workplace again where all I have to do is bat my eyelashes and smile every time I didn't feel like doing a certain task??
Well I'm sure I could. But using my sexuality to get out of doing boring things only works on certain people, ie guys, ones that aren't homo.
Buy buy discount (see what I did here?).
Utter crap balls, where am I supposed to buy my sporting gear from now?? Over the last couple days I have been running all over the shop looking for things that I 'might need' so that I can buy it on my staff discount, before its too late. I know this is stupid because I have no money for such purchases and I'm quite sure what I already have will suffice. But, I like pretty new things.
The work is easy. Boring as all hell but easy. Could have done it with my eyes closed. Sometimes did, cause I was still asleep, cause there was no point in waking up for such an easy job!
And yeah, k, I kinda admit, sometimes it was really fun/funny. Making people think I was talking to myself, when my co worker was out of view just doesn't get old.
Trying to come up with discreet code names for when a really really hot guy enters the shop, is not fun actually, but mostly just of utter importance, "Hey, have you seen the new Kayano socks?" Then there was sayings like, "I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of a low flying duck" I would never have heard otherwise. It may be crass and you may think I was better off never having heard it, but I believe my life to be truly enriched. Thanks.
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Two Weeks, Five Days.
Did I tell you I'm leaving?
Well I am.
So long bitches!
K, I'm not leaving just yet. There is two weeks and five days to go.
Still, TWO WEEKS AND FIVE DAYS!
How long is it till you begin the first day of the rest of your life?
That's what I thought.
If you couldn't tell... I'm excited, aggressively so. This is part to do with the fact that
a: I'm finally getting out of my home town which, despite what you think mum, really is boring for somebody my age. No cute available guys, or interesting/cool entertainment. Why did I stay so long?
b: I'm tired. Cranky pants force me to wear them in the morning. How can I say no when I so easily succumb to pressure? Tell me!
c: I still have things to organise, eg, money, get camera off layby and licenses (snoozemania... except the camera part)
d: I only have three working days left to work at my current work place.
aaand
e: I have no idea whats going to happen when I get there!!!
I intend to live and work in Europe for a year. Just because this is what I plan to do. I also plan to do my absolute best and make the most out of it.
Cause I mean, lets face it, there is no point in going over there and crying like a little bitch because I've bitten off more than I can chew. Yeah, this may be a big fuck off bite out of a big fuck off sandwich...
But hey! gosh darn it, I'm going to swallow that mother and wash it down with a cup of steamy hot awesomeness. Yeah!
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