Weirdest experience yesterday.
The weather has been really good the last couple days, so yesterday I rode a bike down to the Blunker See. Which I suppose is the local lake...?
I park my bike, take of my clothes, walk past sunbaking elderly lady, past sunbaking man (was also there the day before) and dive into the water. Splash and frolick around like you do, though I didnt stray too far from the bank cause I'm a scaredy cat and the water is deeep!
After I got out, my intentions were to get dry then head back home. But the guy from the day before started talking to me and was then like 'grab your stuff and talk to me'. So I thought hell why not, I mean I'm never going to find The One if I dont even talk to boys right?
He was wearing glasses, was tall, had a fit tanned figure, and an extreemely large penis. He was covered and all, but I mean how much do speedo's REALLY cover your privates? So far he seemed to fit The One description my best friends aunty had predicted in my card reading.
So I sat down next to him, on the grass, he wanted me to lie down on his rug (...Um NO!) and he offered me a piece of fruit, I dont know what its called but its a peach and it looks all squashed and its really sweet and delicious, but again I was like no thanks.
And he started talking, like, a lot. I didnt really understand all of what he said because he spoke so fast. But I learned he was born in Russia, he doesn't work, which is why he was at the lake at 2pm on a tuesday afternoon, if he did work he would be doing something to do with computers. He lives on his own. He wants to get to know me, because its interesting to him that I'm from Australia, etc etc.
He asked me questions but I didnt really talk at all, and when there was a pause he would like get out his sunscreen and be like 'do you need some? It is not good for your skin (touched my arm) out in the sun' and I'm thinking hey you weirdo dont touch me and said 'no thanks I dont need any sunscreen, I'm not staying long'. Then he started jabbering again, and asked me to talk about myself, and I just shrugged and he laughed and then touched me on the knee.
Like, that was it for me. I had sat there long enough not to seem rude to leave. So I said 'Oh gee, look at the time (I didnt even have a watch on) I really have to go, I told my aunty I would help her make a Richtkrone (traditional thing you make for people who have newly built roofs, meant for good luck, which is also true, I did say I would help her make one)'. Then he asked me if I had an email he could contact me on, but thankfully he didnt have a writing implement (hoorah!) I was like 'oh what a shame, goodbye!' he quickly picked me a flower, gave it to me, then watched me get dressed and leave.
What a pervert! And to think, at the start of the incedent I thought he might have been The One! I mean it all seemed to fit the description, tall, dark, intellegent, forign, glasses, near water. I should have known as soon as he opened his mouth though, I mean that was scary. Not so much the words that came out of it, but the just the size of it, and his teeth, my gosh!! Like I dont think The One should be having such a big Godzilla mouth like his.
I would always be living in total complete fear. I could'nt ever argue with the Pervert-Godzilla-Mouth man, my head would be gone in a second, or less!
Why do I always attract the crazies? And how many more am I suppose to deal with before I actually do meet Mr One?
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