Show And Tell. Without The Show,

Things my eyes (not yours) have witnessed but I will share with you, cause Im so generous etc etc bullshit.

- An old man wearing a giant red nose, gold sequined top hat and multi-coloured tail coat riding on one of those supa*bling lowrider bikes while pumping Black Lace's 'Agadoo' from a boom box.
He smiled and waved at me, so I smiled back. It must have been one of 'those' kinda smiles cause then he told me he doesn't dress like that everyday. 
Like it matters, your dressed like that now, and if your dressed like that now, why not everyday? 
I mean, come on! Your an old man dressed like a clown on a bike you obviously stole from your wannabe gangsta grandson and have awfuly kitsch taste in music to acompany the scene just incase our eyes arent entertained enough! You rule. Own. It.

-A public toilet, toilet paper dispenser company called 'Triple Willy'. This is funny for so many reasons...all of them immature and stupid.

- A man frontal stack whilst riding a Segue. I laughed, so hard. 

-An exploded dead blind snake on the road with all its little baby blind snake babies squirming around next to it. 
Alright, I lied about the squirming...they were all dead.

- A park that has one of those round rides I used to play on as a kid. You know the one, where you sit down and in the middle is like a circle-table type thing which you use to pull yourself around and around and around and around and the faster you pull the faster you spin and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! 
Then you get really unbelievably dizzy and feel kinda sick and have to slide down the slippery dip a few times untill you can go back for round two's. 
I can tell you from experience these rides are only about a quarter as much the fun as when you have other actual people to go on with. 

Righteous Heartbreak.

Boys. They confuse the heck out of me and whittle me away until I'm a Bridget bloody Jones cliche...uncool.

I never even have the faintest idea what they want from me, or why they say one thing but act like a complete donkey. And not even a cool donkey, you know like Donkey Kong (actually a gorilla, but whatever) but a 'eee orrrre, I'm a stupid ass' type of donkey.... Its true. 
Not everyone gets to be Donkey Kong, and only a very select few get to be Diddy Kong even...so, you understand what I'm getting at. 

I get the feeling though, mostly that when it comes to me, guys themselves dont know what they want. Which is really frustrating cause thats exactly what I feel. So they should be the ones who look into the future and realise what an awesome girlfriend I would be and just be my b/f already! Geeez its like, not that hard. 

I had a bit of a thing with a boy. It hardly even constitutes as a 'thing' thats how short it was... lets call it, a 'flutter'. So I had my first flutter in Germany with a Deutsch-boy. Hes nice. But he doesn't want me to be his g/f. Everybody say 'awwww'. 
So I, Le'Idiot was all like 'yeah I totally understand, lets be friends.' CRAP!

I. don't. want. to. be. friends. I want to be a sweet as sugar couple, that goes to markets together hand in hand and watches all the people and pretends not to be smug or feel superior, even though we do because we are in love. Then he will buy me a gingerbread decleration of love, cause, then I will KNOW its for reals. 
But, it was not meant to be. 

Drats! When will I find my superbly corny knight in shiny shiny armour? 
I mean come on! I'm this ------> <------ close to just going round to every house and knocking down all the doors until a really really cute sexy, all black wearing, shaggy haired, bespectacled dude answers, and I'll be all like 'hi' and he'll say 'hey' and we will smile at each other and it will all be very much okay. Okay!
Yeeaaahhh good idea Theresa, you do that, first thing tomorrow. I'm absolutely certain this will not be a mistake or make me feel bad about myself or anything.
Pffft, yeah right you muppet. 
Although maybe, JUST maybe... it will be alright?

Oh, The Things You Learn

Getting a flat tyre is exactly the same wherever you are. A man will always come along and just do it for you without even asking if your actually capable of doing it all by yourself, which I am actually....I just haven't had the chance to prove it yet because EVERYTIME a man comes along and bloody does it for me! GOSH! Do I look like a damsel in distress? If I wanted a guy to fix my tyres I'd like get  married or hire a personal handy-man/dude. Which we all know I'm not going to do, because  I CAN FIX MY OWN FLAT TYRES!!! 
If I need a jar opened or something I'll be in contact, thankyou.


You think you dont miss your home country and then your mum sends you Tim Tams. 
I didn't ever eat them all that often but I ended up eating practically a whole packet in one go, I thought yeah! everythings fine, except of coarse the over eating of delicious Australian chocolatey goodness. 
But then, then I started to get sad. Hey! I thought chocolate released endorphins....Endorphins make you happy. What gives Tim and Tam? Bastards.
I don't really blame you Arnotts, I just had a very un-chill week.

Seeing your last name on a grave stone is weird. And is kinda like a reality hit that yeah, one day I will be dead too. I feel sorry for Mr and Mrs Smith, what a sorrowful life they must live, being constantly reminded of this. Although, I do suppose that all rather depends on how often they frequent graveyards. 
Apologies to Mr and Mrs Smith, I did not mean to imply that you were graveyard lurkers. You just have a common name, cause for misery enough.


On closer inspection, people really are the same and when I say people I mean boys.  Yeah okay, I haven't seen a hot skater punk anywhere (why?), but dress code aside there is no difference.


The only off switch for my overthinking is alcohol. An abundance of it. Unfortunate, cause if I were to get too hard into that again, in the future there wouldn't be any need for the alcohol. My brain would just be 'off'. 

I'm still an advocate for retail therapy. Note to self, must find other cheaper form of sad/bordom buster. 


Music will always be synonymous with moments.

In The Middle Of A Rainy Summer.

Its raining a lot. Which sucks. Cause I have have not been able to go out for excercise times. I'm obtaining a decent, what I like to call, German Belly. Its my stomach except slightly rounder and I do believe its the result of eating too many breadrolls. Stupid bread, why does it have to be so convinient and delicious? 

This morning I looked out the window and watched the rain, it looks so different today and I, retard, got WAY WAY WAY ahead of myself and thought OH MY GOD IT'S SNOWING! IT'S FREAKING SNOWING PEOPLE!!!!! 
But then I thought about the temperature and the fact that I'm still running around barefoot and asked my aunty rather reservedly 'What kind of rain is that?' (Though still in my head thinking, please be snow please be snow please be snow). It isnt. It's just a shitty different kind of rain. 


Well, I think it's time you pissed off now rain. I have had enough of you and would like it to be summer again. THANKYOU!


I had more to say but its time to eat....again. To be continued....probably.

Differences.

Pretty sure my blog yesterday can only have one critique........abismal.
It is not my fault. 
Alright I know, it is my fault. But like ah, shut up.

So I have been in Germany just about two months now and I do believe it is time to reflect and share with you what I have learned and discovered. 
Anybody feel like we are back at school retreat yet??? Dont worry I'm not going to talk about weird candle-passing forgiveness ceremonies or letters I've written to people I don't like, how I'm sure they are actually a really really nice person, probably.
Ummm, I'll paaaasss. 

So even though I'm living in a place similar to back home, though a bit smaller, I find it so much more interesting here. Not only because of the way it looks and feels but because of its history, and how I fit into it. I'm not totally sure that I DO fit into it, but it definitely has significance to me. My parents grew up here, and I'm constantly meeting new people who know them or were in their aquainted circle, and its just, cool. I always think to myself, if my parents hadn't moved to Australia then I would already know you, and, if my parents hadn't moved to Australia I probably would have already done this etc etc. And I'm getting to learn who and how my family is..In a way I'm catching up. 


German flora and fauna is so different. I see a wider variety of wild animals running around here, hares, rabbits, squirrels, birds, deer, fox and other weird ferret type furry animals. And there are wild flowers everywhere! I go for a daily walk and I see so many different and pretty colours. And yesterday before I rode my bike back from the lake from reading in the sun, I totally stuck my head in a cherry tree and had myself an afternoon snack. Yeah ok, you couldn't call it a snack exactly, seeing as most of the ripe uneaten ones where much higher than my reaching abilities (even when standing on a rock) and I'm pretty sure I also ate a worm, but how many times do you get the oportunity to eat wild cherries at the lake? 

The german people's mentality is strange but also quite unique. At first I thought they were just unfriendly and blunt. But actually I misunderstood and I'm pretty sure I'm not that different. 
Australians will ask you how you are as a form of greeting but arent actually all that interested in a truthful response, they will also ask you how your weekends are or your holidays and ask you heaps of questions, really actually quite nosey, and all just to seem polite and interested, even if they aren't. I think, the german people either find it too personal to ask such questions or they just aren't interested in a strangers life and therefor don't ask. Thats not rude, its just another way of being polite. Although, yes I have come across some STONEY people. But mostly just nice ones. 
Its possible to be nice and interested without being nosey and fake, and I don't think majority of Australians get that (ones in the service industry anyway) but then again, it is what is required as part of the job there. I dunno. Whatever. Its just different.


I could totally go on rambling about crap that probably doesn't even matter or make a difference. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like it here. 
I can't get too comfortable though, because once I'm comfortable I start getting lazy, and then I stop trying to improve myself and/or life situation. And the whole point of my travel expedition was to figure it all out and become a grown up. That in itself will prove difficult as I dont believe in growing up either..... Geez at odds with myself again, no surprise there.

Ach Mann.

Letzte woche solte ich in Deutsch ein blog schreiben...habe ich nicht gemacht. Ja offensichtlich.

Eigentlich kann ich nicht so gute schreiben, und das ist gans anstreng. Aber ich fersuche es und habe auch Google Translate neiben ann. 

Jedoch wissen wie faul ich bin, und ich sag euch yetz ich habe kiene lust alle worte zu nachprüfen. Wann das alles eine bisschen kacke ist dann ist das einfach so, ok?

Ich habe das praktkum bie das Klinik abgebrochen, um der grund, 'ICH HASSE ES'.
Da ist nicht mehr zu sagen auf das thema.

Jetz muss ich schnell irgendwas anders vinden das ich gerne vergnügen kann.

Nah, und nunn fult es wei ich mein kopf gegen das want geknalt habe.

Es ist vorbie. Abe erst eine parr worte das ich gerner zu hören moch.

-Schatzi
-Liebling
-Locker
-Pfannkuchen, aber nur auf das grund das sie yetz hinter meir gekoched werden.

Ja, werklich, ich erschauder wann ich denk uber wie vieler fielern ich gemacht habe.
Tschüs!!

I Blame The Jägers

My first two days at the clinic were, how d'you say.... shit.

Yeah, first day there was a lot of making beds and generally not understanding a thing.  Which is to be expected yeah. However still, after the first day I was thinking I am God, I can pretty much do anything....


Monday night was yet ANOTHER jäger type gathering in Blunk. Lots of jägers gathered together from different dorfs and we all wandered around through the wild around swamps and stuff. When we returned there was beer and meat.
Beer. 
I don't know what it is, but for some reason people like to buy me beer. However since I am God and I didnt have to be back at the clinic till 1pm the next day, I did not deny myself the pleasure of enjoying this beer buying ritual....and later on, shots. 
Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. Cheers Lil Jon, "lets get ready to get fucked up" (?).....yeah think I beat you to that.

Wont say I didnt have fun, because it was SUCH an awesome night. And even though I was hanging with a bunch of mostly older men jägers and a couple of older jäger-mens women, I would say that the company was excellent and the conversation was just as swell. Pretty sure I talked a lot, though I don't know how or what about cause my german sucks. I also managed to wear a jäger hat the whole night (almost accidently stolen), it was far too big and I probably looked like a dork but I don't give a crap yo! :D 


Sooo, Monday night was a laugh. Tuesday however, was not. I would say shortly before I passed out Monday night/Tuesday morning I managed to purchase a ticket, Destination: HELL. 
Tuesday was by far a day not worth reliving. I still had hope at around 11am that I would make a swift recovery and be all fine n'dandy to go to the clinic. No. When I got to the clinic I thought my head was going to fall right off my shoulders, and two hours in I thought I was going to start crying, cause I felt so sorry for myself. But, you know, I was at work experience, I figured I had to pull myself together and 'Just Do It'. I'm pretty sure I have gone to work many times badly hungover, even got my mother to drive me to work the next day cause I was pretty sure I was still intoxicated...and it seemed to be fine! How come then, how come that day, I had to run out of a patients room and unceremoniously rid myself of my entire bodily fluids!!!!????????


Yeah Theresa. Not cool. Not a very good way to make a good impression. YOU ENTIRELY STUPID PERSON.


After that.... little episode, I was sent home. I was well upset cause I wanted to stay and learn, but on the other hand I was still seeing green. So I brought myself a bunch of grapes and went to home to bed. 


Well, I dont think its safe exactly to say I've learnt my lesson cause I'm a notorious repeat offender........ but, I think I've learnt my lesson. 


I think I was lucky cause they didnt know that I was hungover they just thought I couldnt handle it there. Although they are nurses, surely they would be savvy to that kind of thing?....Whatever, if they do know they didnt say anything and the last two day have been really excellent!

I'll be keeping you updated, though next week in German. Laters, T