Righteous Heartbreak.

Boys. They confuse the heck out of me and whittle me away until I'm a Bridget bloody Jones cliche...uncool.

I never even have the faintest idea what they want from me, or why they say one thing but act like a complete donkey. And not even a cool donkey, you know like Donkey Kong (actually a gorilla, but whatever) but a 'eee orrrre, I'm a stupid ass' type of donkey.... Its true. 
Not everyone gets to be Donkey Kong, and only a very select few get to be Diddy Kong even...so, you understand what I'm getting at. 

I get the feeling though, mostly that when it comes to me, guys themselves dont know what they want. Which is really frustrating cause thats exactly what I feel. So they should be the ones who look into the future and realise what an awesome girlfriend I would be and just be my b/f already! Geeez its like, not that hard. 

I had a bit of a thing with a boy. It hardly even constitutes as a 'thing' thats how short it was... lets call it, a 'flutter'. So I had my first flutter in Germany with a Deutsch-boy. Hes nice. But he doesn't want me to be his g/f. Everybody say 'awwww'. 
So I, Le'Idiot was all like 'yeah I totally understand, lets be friends.' CRAP!

I. don't. want. to. be. friends. I want to be a sweet as sugar couple, that goes to markets together hand in hand and watches all the people and pretends not to be smug or feel superior, even though we do because we are in love. Then he will buy me a gingerbread decleration of love, cause, then I will KNOW its for reals. 
But, it was not meant to be. 

Drats! When will I find my superbly corny knight in shiny shiny armour? 
I mean come on! I'm this ------> <------ close to just going round to every house and knocking down all the doors until a really really cute sexy, all black wearing, shaggy haired, bespectacled dude answers, and I'll be all like 'hi' and he'll say 'hey' and we will smile at each other and it will all be very much okay. Okay!
Yeeaaahhh good idea Theresa, you do that, first thing tomorrow. I'm absolutely certain this will not be a mistake or make me feel bad about myself or anything.
Pffft, yeah right you muppet. 
Although maybe, JUST maybe... it will be alright?