Show And Tell. Without The Show,

Things my eyes (not yours) have witnessed but I will share with you, cause Im so generous etc etc bullshit.

- An old man wearing a giant red nose, gold sequined top hat and multi-coloured tail coat riding on one of those supa*bling lowrider bikes while pumping Black Lace's 'Agadoo' from a boom box.
He smiled and waved at me, so I smiled back. It must have been one of 'those' kinda smiles cause then he told me he doesn't dress like that everyday. 
Like it matters, your dressed like that now, and if your dressed like that now, why not everyday? 
I mean, come on! Your an old man dressed like a clown on a bike you obviously stole from your wannabe gangsta grandson and have awfuly kitsch taste in music to acompany the scene just incase our eyes arent entertained enough! You rule. Own. It.

-A public toilet, toilet paper dispenser company called 'Triple Willy'. This is funny for so many reasons...all of them immature and stupid.

- A man frontal stack whilst riding a Segue. I laughed, so hard. 

-An exploded dead blind snake on the road with all its little baby blind snake babies squirming around next to it. 
Alright, I lied about the squirming...they were all dead.

- A park that has one of those round rides I used to play on as a kid. You know the one, where you sit down and in the middle is like a circle-table type thing which you use to pull yourself around and around and around and around and the faster you pull the faster you spin and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! 
Then you get really unbelievably dizzy and feel kinda sick and have to slide down the slippery dip a few times untill you can go back for round two's. 
I can tell you from experience these rides are only about a quarter as much the fun as when you have other actual people to go on with. 

Righteous Heartbreak.

Boys. They confuse the heck out of me and whittle me away until I'm a Bridget bloody Jones cliche...uncool.

I never even have the faintest idea what they want from me, or why they say one thing but act like a complete donkey. And not even a cool donkey, you know like Donkey Kong (actually a gorilla, but whatever) but a 'eee orrrre, I'm a stupid ass' type of donkey.... Its true. 
Not everyone gets to be Donkey Kong, and only a very select few get to be Diddy Kong even...so, you understand what I'm getting at. 

I get the feeling though, mostly that when it comes to me, guys themselves dont know what they want. Which is really frustrating cause thats exactly what I feel. So they should be the ones who look into the future and realise what an awesome girlfriend I would be and just be my b/f already! Geeez its like, not that hard. 

I had a bit of a thing with a boy. It hardly even constitutes as a 'thing' thats how short it was... lets call it, a 'flutter'. So I had my first flutter in Germany with a Deutsch-boy. Hes nice. But he doesn't want me to be his g/f. Everybody say 'awwww'. 
So I, Le'Idiot was all like 'yeah I totally understand, lets be friends.' CRAP!

I. don't. want. to. be. friends. I want to be a sweet as sugar couple, that goes to markets together hand in hand and watches all the people and pretends not to be smug or feel superior, even though we do because we are in love. Then he will buy me a gingerbread decleration of love, cause, then I will KNOW its for reals. 
But, it was not meant to be. 

Drats! When will I find my superbly corny knight in shiny shiny armour? 
I mean come on! I'm this ------> <------ close to just going round to every house and knocking down all the doors until a really really cute sexy, all black wearing, shaggy haired, bespectacled dude answers, and I'll be all like 'hi' and he'll say 'hey' and we will smile at each other and it will all be very much okay. Okay!
Yeeaaahhh good idea Theresa, you do that, first thing tomorrow. I'm absolutely certain this will not be a mistake or make me feel bad about myself or anything.
Pffft, yeah right you muppet. 
Although maybe, JUST maybe... it will be alright?

Oh, The Things You Learn

Getting a flat tyre is exactly the same wherever you are. A man will always come along and just do it for you without even asking if your actually capable of doing it all by yourself, which I am actually....I just haven't had the chance to prove it yet because EVERYTIME a man comes along and bloody does it for me! GOSH! Do I look like a damsel in distress? If I wanted a guy to fix my tyres I'd like get  married or hire a personal handy-man/dude. Which we all know I'm not going to do, because  I CAN FIX MY OWN FLAT TYRES!!! 
If I need a jar opened or something I'll be in contact, thankyou.


You think you dont miss your home country and then your mum sends you Tim Tams. 
I didn't ever eat them all that often but I ended up eating practically a whole packet in one go, I thought yeah! everythings fine, except of coarse the over eating of delicious Australian chocolatey goodness. 
But then, then I started to get sad. Hey! I thought chocolate released endorphins....Endorphins make you happy. What gives Tim and Tam? Bastards.
I don't really blame you Arnotts, I just had a very un-chill week.

Seeing your last name on a grave stone is weird. And is kinda like a reality hit that yeah, one day I will be dead too. I feel sorry for Mr and Mrs Smith, what a sorrowful life they must live, being constantly reminded of this. Although, I do suppose that all rather depends on how often they frequent graveyards. 
Apologies to Mr and Mrs Smith, I did not mean to imply that you were graveyard lurkers. You just have a common name, cause for misery enough.


On closer inspection, people really are the same and when I say people I mean boys.  Yeah okay, I haven't seen a hot skater punk anywhere (why?), but dress code aside there is no difference.


The only off switch for my overthinking is alcohol. An abundance of it. Unfortunate, cause if I were to get too hard into that again, in the future there wouldn't be any need for the alcohol. My brain would just be 'off'. 

I'm still an advocate for retail therapy. Note to self, must find other cheaper form of sad/bordom buster. 


Music will always be synonymous with moments.