Sunday, 26 June 2011

My Body Is My Body, I'm Not Just Anybody.

I'm a thief.
There you have it.
An outlaw on the run, with no way of undoing what it is I have done.
I like don't even feel bad, like totally whatever even.
I mean, its not like I'll be going to prison or anything, probably because there is 95% possibility that nobody but me (and you) knows about it at all.

What was my crime?

I stole a magazine.
Your shocked aren't you, I can tell.

Before you start re-evaluating how well you know me and thinking shit like, its SO unlike me and Germany has changed me blah blah. I admit. I didn't even realise I was such a bad ass until way after the dreadful deed was done.

You see, I wanted to purchase two magazines,  I put one on top of the other on the counter and the dude looked at the price of the top magazine, looked at me then DEMANDED I pay €1 EXACTLY. So I did what the nice (stupid) man wanted. 
Am I to blame if he didn't realise there was another €6 magazine underneath? I think not. 
So essentially I paid one euro for two magazines, though not really, really I stole a magazine.  
Oh yeah, now everybody wants to be my friend because I am such a rebel. And everybody likes a rebel. 

However before I could really soak up all the gloriousness of my most angst-riddled-teenager moment, I got a taste of my own medicine.

I'm a pretty predictable person. And on this particular day I was feeling a bit sad and bored. So for something to do I drove to the coast, only when I got there it didnt make me feel better at all. It was meant to be a distraction from home, but it was exactly like home, okay, nothing will ever come close to matching those beaches, but it was a smallish coastal town with plentiful old people, young family's and loved up couples with nothing better to do than to stroll around on the prominade and eat and drink. BOOOOOOO! I ran away from that to see/experience something different!

So I walked around in a huff until my legs took me into that newsagent where I acquired my magazines. Which is what I always do when feeling lost and out of control, I usually then also grab a chocolate milkshake, but that day I decided I'd enjoy a nice beer with my stolen goods.
I drank my beer, looked at the pretty pictures and enjoyed the scenery, when suddenly another bloody loved up couple comes up to my table and asked if they could sit there.
For bloody hell, I was just getting relaxed and chill with some 'me' time and they had to come along and ruin it. I was so annoyed, and kinda a little tipsy, that I got up (after paying of coarse) and went in search of cigarettes. All the shops were closed by then and I'd just given up on the thought, when I walked right into a cigarette vending machine. I thought €5 a pop, if I smoke one and give the rest away or whatever then it wont be such a big loss. So I put a fiver in, pushed appropriate buttons AND NOTHING CAME OUT! 
Karma you BITCH.
Yeah okay, I suppose I deserved that, and thanks 'n all for saving me from doing something stupid, but seriously, I think next time I will decide if I want to partake in a little destructive behaviour. "It's my body, I do what I want!"

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